By Tim Dorsey
There's a unique schemer or slimeball at the back of each door: cocaine duckpins who've survived merely by way of the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desirous to ranking, undercover law enforcement officials busting undercover law enforcement officials who're working sting operations on undercover law enforcement officials. And simply down the row, neighborhood historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped maintaining together with his meds -- remains to be searching for a briefcase full of 5 million dollars...and is now able to wreaking extra havoc than storm Rolando-berto, the large wind amassing strength offshore, simply anticipating the chance to blow every thing instantly to hell.
Pack up your baggage and head south to sunny Florida. go away your rational brain at domestic and are available good armed. there is a room along with your quantity on it on the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.
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Extra resources for Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Serge Storms)
It often took a cocktail of 4 antidepressants and psychotropic medicinal drugs to even him out. while he used to be leveled, he used to be like an enthusiastic, candy little child. the matter used to be that the medicine dimmed his wattage. Serge may both cover the capsules in his mouth or throw them up later. He didn’t wish whatever messing together with his grey topic; he cherished the hum within his head too much—the unfastened trade of innovations and photographs streaming backward and forward, occasional bursts of genius flashing inside of his cranium like warmth lightning over Tampa Bay on a hot August night. Serge’s first admission to Chattahoochee got here within the early eighties after he was once picked up at Cypress Gardens. an evening watchman found him training synchronized water ballet within the Florida Pool, the well-known swimming pool in-built the form of the kingdom simply north of the water ski ramps. The police referred to as in a kingdom psychiatric crew while Serge refused to return out of the pool, claiming he was once Esther Williams rehearsing for the hit 1953 MGM musical effortless to like. quickly a crowd of law enforcement officials and park officers had accumulated. Serge lay on his again within the pool and made “water angels. ” The topic park desired to stay away from exposure in any respect bills. They conferred quietly and requested if somebody knew what the heck the intruder was once conversing approximately. “He’s acquired his proof right,” the park publicist chimed in. “Part of that motion picture was once shot during this pool. yet that’s old minutiae. such a lot of our personal staff don’t even comprehend that. ” A voice from the pool grew to become the crowd. “Cypress Gardens, 200 botanical acres at the shore of lovely Lake Eloise. Florida’s first subject park, proven 1936…” The publicist ultimately coaxed Serge out of the pool at the pretext of an audition for Skirts Ahoy! Trapper Nelson was once came across lifeless via his cabin within the overdue sixties, and all of the kids whispered it used to be anything sinister. He used to be shot, they stated, probably suicide, perhaps homicide. In 1995, Martin County sheriff’s division and video game officers started listening to unusual rumors. Trapper Nelson wasn’t rather useless. The physique they discovered greater than 20 years in the past used to be a few unlucky soul who had wandered into Nelson’s camp, and Trapper had due to the fact dug in deeper. Canoeists suggested a shadowy determine darting in regards to the banks or occasionally within the home windows of Trapper’s previous cabin. The hermit’s neighborhood prestige eclipsed legend. per week later, deputies dragged Serge into the sheriff’s station, donning furs and smeared with dried animal blood. He kicked and he screamed. “But i'm Trapper Nelson! Lemme move! ” So begun Serge’s newest remain at Chattahoochee. After months, felony psychiatrists bought jointly to debate Serge’s case. He used to be their favourite, such a lot fascinating sufferer, and so they couldn’t stand to observe what was once occurring. They acquired a vacationing expert from Austria to place Serge below hypnosis. Serge babbled and grunted as he lay at the sofa. He all started pitching violently they usually needed to carry him down. His mumbling elevated to a high-speed torrent of incomprehensible sonic hash. “Someone get a tape recorder!